yup, so may 18-21 I am going to the New England Young Writers Conference and apparently good writers come out of there....hmmm we'll see...so yea had a shakey afternoon...not so much to really talk about...all fine now...for the moment....

What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
mmm haha lots of stuff

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
ummm i dont think so but im working on it...will i make more...yes

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
ummm...no

4. Did anyone close to you die?
my uncle

5. What countries did you visit?
none

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
no more heartbreak

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Septemeber 14....the day we first kissed
october 10....when i lost him

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
finding myself

9. What was your biggest failure?
i failed myself alot

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
ummm no

11. What was the best thing you bought?
ooooo ummmm i cant think of anything all that special

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
his and not his....some of my close friends too

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
his...and some other friends

14. Where did most of your money go?
uselessness and illegal shit

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
lots of stuff and people

16. What songs will always remind you of 2005?
ummmmmmmmm i have no idea...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? undecided
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? getting richer thanks to two jobs

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
partied with friends

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being depressed

20. How did you spend Christmas?
ummm at the moviesssss

21. How will you be spending New Years?
ahhh new years...i got into a car accident....it was fun

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
yes badly...still am in love

23. How many one night stands?
ummm none last year....this year...ummm

24. What were your favourite TV programmes?
idk didnt pay attention to tv

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
mhm oh yeaaaa

26. What was the best book you read?
Dont Kill the Freshman by Zoe Trope

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
ANIMAL SUIT DRIVEBY....now known as THE KILLING MOON

28. What did you want and get?
him

29. What did you want and not get?
him ( iloev how he is a lot of my answers...its sad)

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
King Kong

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
16 and a fucking tattoo bitches

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
god a lot of things involving grades, him, and friends, and being able to ride a lot more

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
ummm comfortable but sophisticaed with a little bit of risk

34. What kept you sane?
definitly writing and anna

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
idk

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
ummm bush just sucks

37. Who did you miss?
mehhhh

38. Who was the best new person you met?
ummm i remet gabby and stephanie and they are awesome

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
dont excpect them to feel...they might just not have a heart

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
The All American Rejects- Straight Jacket Feeling (I knwo its from 2006 but still)

back me down from backing up
hold your breath now its stacking up
etched with marks, but i can deal
and youre the problem and you cant feel
try this on, straighjacket feeling
so maybe i wont be alone
take back now, my life youre stealing

yesterday was over
but today im falling for you
runaway this time without you
all i ever thought you would be
that face is tearing holes in me again

trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you dont make sense
but you cant win
take back now, my life your stealing

but today im falling for you
runaway this time without you
and all the things you put me through
im holding on by letting go of you

and when that memory slips away
there will be a better view from here
and only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you i fear
it falls away


theres more i guess but i just dont have the time haha
love yas

I got accepted to Bread Loafs Writers Conference...I submitted the Orchard...and yay got accepted...sorry I havent written in awhile or posted anything...been working on a meriad of research papers for different classes....just wated to post the good news

I inturn stole this from Kotman because it looked like so much fun!


If I were a month, I'd be: Novemeber

If I were a day in a week, I'd be: Saturday

If I were a time, I'd be: midnight

If I were a planet, I'd be: veuns

If I were a sea animal, I'd be: dolphin

If I were a direction, I'd be: back (towards the past)

If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: desk

If I were a sin, I'd be: lust

If I were a liquid, I'd be: vodka ofcourse

If I were a tree, I'd be: birch

If I were a plant, I'd be: an orchid

If I were a state of weather, I'd be: the rain

If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: viola

If I were an animal, I'd be: do not know

If I were a colour, I'd be: black

If I were a vegetable, I'd be: cucumber

If I were a sound, I'd be: tears hitting the floor

If I were an element, I'd be: wind

If I were a car, I'd be: hmm difficult

If I were a song, I'd be: note to self by from first to last

If I were a movie, I'd be: too hard for me to choose

If I were a book, I'd be written by: Zoe Trope

If I were food, I'd be: rice

If I were a place, I'd be: his bed

If I were a number, I'd be: 17

this is the back cover to the book im reading "Dont Kill the Freshman"...i think it is fitting to how i feel:

I wrote a story about you. Well sort of, see, it's mostly about me. Well, entirely about me, but here's the catch: I'm you. No, really, I mean it. I'm you. I know what it feels like when your heart beats so hard agasint your white bone ribs, when you sing in the shower with the soap in your eyes, when you run until you get a side ache. I wrote this story about you because I am so in love with. This is a reckless love story. This is my shameless confession.


i cany say over and over he is meaningless and that hes a jerk...but for some reason im always going back to thinking about him...i know...i tell myself he will never give me a chance (even when i did nothing wrong) but fantasies still play out in my heart that just won't let go of it all...he was last thing to push me over the edge, it would of been someone sooner or later...i wish it had just been later...